February 13, 2008

Norman Shuttlecock Jr. – Mr. Spencer

Filed under: Norman Shuttlecock Jr. - Mr. Spencer — barondestructo @ 4:14 am
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July 14, 2007

Rooting through my back-up yahoo account’s junk folder, I also came across a job offer from a Brown Spencer. According to B.S., I could earn anywhere from $600-$3000 a week by working as a bookkeeper for a Cotton and Textile Trading Company. It sounded like an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and so I immediately wrote back:

“Dear Mr. Spencer,

Your offer couldn’t have come at a better time as I was recently fired from my last job for embezzling company funds. Coincidentally, my former employer also specialized in cotton and textile trading. Thus, rest assured I can provide you with the confidence that comes from hiring someone with experience in the field, in addition to a bookkeeping background and an unwavering entrepreneurial spirit.

I would like to get started as quickly as possible as my trial is due to commence in the coming weeks and I may need cash to bribe the jurors.

Norman Shuttlecock Jr.”


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