Spambait

February 13, 2008

In Memory of Engr. Miklos S. Abdulaziz

April 16, 2007

I would like to dedicate this blog entry to the memory of Engr. Miklos S. Abdulaziz who passed away sometime last year under hopefully not mysterious circumstances. “Who?”you may ask. Well, most of you probably didn’t know Miklos. And the truth is, I didn’t either. Or, at least I don’t remember having known him. Nevertheless, the late Mr. Abdulazziz has left me 7.1 million dollars in his will according to the email I received the other day. “On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of the late Engr. Miklos S. Abd…” was the heading of the correspondence that popped into my inbox compliments of the Peters and Peters Law Firm, sandwiched between the transparently spammy “Urgent Stock Alert!” and the ever-so-intriguing “Be A Hero in Bed 65”. I clicked on the link and read:

“On behalf of the Trustees and Executor of the estate of late Engr. Miklos S. Abdulaziz. I once again try to notify you as my earlier letter was returned undelivered.” – Returned undelivered?! Damn my Yahoo spam filter! It authorizes “ESTUDIA EN EL INSTITUTO PROFESIONAL LOS LEONES¡¡¡¡” but bounces back news of dear Miklos S. Abdulaziz’s passing.

“I hereby attempt to reach you again by this same email address stated on the WILL.” – Thank God Miklos had the wherewithal to include my email in his…wait, did you say “Will”?!

“I wish to notify you that late Engr. Miklos S. Abdulaziz made you a beneficiary to his WILL. He left the sum of Seven Million One Hundred Thousand Dollars (USD$7,100.000.00 ) to you in the codicil and last testament to his WILL.” – Now here is a guy who thought enough of me to include yours truly in his will, and I don’t even remember him. I feel terrible. Truly terrible. But the 1.7 million dollars helps dull the pain.

“The late Engr. Miklos S. Abdulaziz until his death was a member of the Helicopter Society and the Institute of Electronic & Electrical Engineers.” – It’s no wonder we shared a connection. After all, we had so much in common, most notably our love of helicopters and electronic and electrical engineers. Had he been Vice President of the Eton-based Get Smart Appreciation Club, I’d swear we were soul mates!

“His great philanthropy earned him numerous awards during his life time.” – God bless him and his work for the underpriviliged electronic and electrical engineers of this world. Also, his Cable Ace Award for sound editing in a comedy and/or variety series shall stand the test of time.

“The late Engr. Miklos S. Abdulaziz died on the 13th day of February, 2006 at the age of 80 years, and his WILL is now ready for execution.“ – Hot dog!

“According to him this money is to support your humanitarian activities and to help the poor and the needy in our society.” – Riiiiight. My, uh, “humanitarian activities“. I just want everyone to know that, of course, finding the right charity to support will be a time-consuming and costly process requiring much travel to far flung exotic destinations (ie. Tahiti, Hong Kong, Bora Bora) that may seem excessive to some but regrettably necessary. Also, I’m assuming “the money to support and help the poor and needy in our society” is a reference to some second will that doesn‘t really concern me.

“Please if I reach you this time as I am hopeful, endeavor to get back to me as soon as possible to enable me conclude my job. I hope to hear from you in no distant time.Yours in Service, BARRISTER: Stephen McCann.” – And not a moment too soon as evidenced by Mr. McCann’s rambling conclusion. Quick, before dementia takes hold! Send me the check!

So there you have it. I’m rich. Between this, the 2.5 million dollars issued to me by the Freemason Society of Bournemout in the form of a masonry grant (special thanks to the All Seeing Eye Master Nicholas Brenner for sending me the good news via email), and the 10 million dollars The British Lottery Corporation has informed me I have won (I don’t even remember buying a lottery ticket the last time I was in the U.K. Hell, I don’t even remember ever being in the U.K.!), I am rolling in it! Aston Martins for everyone! 

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