February 13, 2008

Doogie Chapadapolapolous – Dr. Dakuro

Filed under: Doogie Chapadapolapolous - Dr. Dakuro — barondestructo @ 3:55 am
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July 11, 2007

Hurray! I found a brand new scam letter sitting in my junk folder this morning. It starts:

“I know that this mail will come to you as surprise since we have not known or met before now, but please, I would like you to treat it like blood brother affair and with the urgency and secrecy it requires. I am Dr. Emound Daukuro, the past chairman of OPEC and the Head of Delegation of the World Bank in Middle East. I am the linkman between the Organization for Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) and the World Bank in Middle East….”

And goes on to offer me a business proposal of a lifetime. I replied:

“I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to receive your email, Dr. Daukuro, as my standing physician has retired and I am in desperate need of a medical opinion. Over the course of the past few days, I have developed a rash over my nether regions. The rash is a pinkish-purple, I guess you’d call it mauve, prickly to the touch, and sort of looks like Alabama (although my next-door neighbor, Mrs. Ackerman, swears it resembles Idaho. I took an impromptu poll at work and these were the results: Alabama – 5, Georgia – 5, Iowa – 4, New Mexico – 3, Utah – 3, Indiana – 3, Nevada – 2, Illinois – 2, Minnesota – 1, Idaho – 0. This is just a preliminary sampling of my home office. I‘ll have more data available soon as my sales duties will require me to visit several more company branches over the course of the next few days).

I’m a little worried. In your professional medical opinion, what do you think it is? I’d be happy to send you a picture if you think it would help with the diagnosis.


Doogie Chapadapalopolous”


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