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February 13, 2008

Baron Destruto – Mariam Aslam

Filed under: Baron Destruto - Mariam Aslam — barondestructo @ 4:44 am
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October 28, 2007

An email today from a Mariam Aslam who asked for the Baron’s help in moving $18.5 million dollars out of a bank account Abidjan so that she could meet Baron Destructo and continue her education. Well, what an opportunity! The Baron responded:

“If you are seeking to further your education, then your timing is impeccable because we at the League of Aliens and Mutants for Evil are in process of auditioning for The Next Great Supervillain! We are seeking someone who is motivated and maniacal, yet brilliant and just a tad loopy to join our society of Monsters, Megalomaniacs, and Mercenaries. Think Pussycat Dolls Presents: Search for the Next Doll, but slightly more evil and somewhat less slutty. If you think this is for you, then please send us an email with the following information:

Your real name (ie. Mariam Aslam)
Your super villain name: (ie.Countess Badonkadonk)
Your special powers: (ie. hypnotism, gravity control, the uncanny ability to predict which of the new Fall shows will be cancelled first).
Costume description: (ie. purple spandex with yellow light bulb symbol on chest, black boots and gloves, black cape with fuschia trim, green goggles and winged silver helmet.)
A brief overview of your life-goals: (ie. revenge against all those who wronged you in the past, world domination, infamy).

We at the League of Aliens for Mutants for Evil are a progressive organization dedicated to encouraging an inclusive environment for all evildoers regardless of race, gender, religion, planet of origin, sexual preference, or sanity. So come on out and give us a try. The only thing you have to lose is your life.

Looking forward to judging you harshly,

Baron Destructo

Cc: Calamitous Jane, Glaxnor the Miscreant, Sinderella Washington, Xxxaptak’qul, Dr. Catastro, Dr. Disastro, Dr. Quinn Meddlesome Woman, Ray Mephistopheles, Archfiend Animus, Brutus Badly, the Plague Zombies, Vorzik the Planet Squisher, the Malevolater, Count Sinister, Kugal Baruth, Death Knell, Star Father Celestio, Shatterdam, Princess Arcana, the Mystifier, the Procrastinator, the Soul Emancipator, Quickstrike, Professor Frosty, Flamer the Flaming Man, the Pummeler, the Purple Lamprey, and John Tesh.”

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