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February 13, 2008

Baron Destructo – Aboud Diallo

Filed under: Baron Destructo - Aboud Diallo — barondestructo @ 4:42 am
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October 28, 2007

Baron Destructo found the following emails sitting in his inbox this weekend.  Mr. Aboud Diallo was contacting the Baron with regard to some exciting business proposal. Hmmm. On the surface, it certainly looked promising, but Baron Destructo has been remarkably wary of late. He wrote back:

“Dear Mr. Aboud Diallo (if that is your real name),

I hope you will excuse my reticence to take you at your word but recent actions on the part of my enemies has caused me to adopt a more cautious approach to the various business dealings that come my way. Specifically, I refer to the recent attempts by Captain Spectacular and his Confederacy of Justice to entrap me and my associates. It may, perhaps, be mere coincidence that your name, Mr. Aboud Diallo, is actually an anagram from Llama D. Boudoir, the not-so-secret identity of one Major Funksonic. Still, I would prefer to err on the side of caution and ask you to answer a few questions to confirm your identity.

1. Are you or are your present employers possessed of any superhuman abilities (as a result of anything from genetic manipulation to magically-imbued cod-pieces)?

2. Are you or have you ever worked for any of the following law enforcement agencies: Interpol, the F.B.I, the C.I.A., L.A.W., T.R.E.W.T.H., S.P.H.I.N.C.T.E.R.?

3. Could you provide a witness (non-family member) willing to attest to your true identity. If so, would he/she be willing to provide a written deposition to that effect? If not, would they be willing to take part in a one act three-player improv entitled “That’s My Mr. Aboud Diallo”?

Once I have received your responses to the preceding questions, I will be happy to join you in moving forward on your proposal.

Sincerely,

Baron Destructo

Cc: Calamitous Jane, Glaxnor the Miscreant, Sinderella Washington, Xxxaptak’qul, Dr. Catastro, Dr. Disastro, Dr. Quinn Meddlesome Woman, Ray Mephistopheles, Archfiend Animus, Brutus Badly, the Plague Zombies, Vorzik the Planet Squisher, the Malevolater, Count Sinister, Kugal Baruth, Death Knell, Star Father Celestio, Shatterdam, Princess Arcana, the Mystifier, the Procrastinator, the Soul Emancipator, Quickstrike, Professor Frosty, Flamer the Flaming Man, the Pummeler, the Purple Lamprey, and John Tesh.”

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