July 14, 2007
Rooting through my back-up yahoo account’s junk folder, I also came across a job offer from a Brown Spencer. According to B.S., I could earn anywhere from $600-$3000 a week by working as a bookkeeper for a Cotton and Textile Trading Company. It sounded like an opportunity I couldn’t pass up and so I immediately wrote back:
“Dear Mr. Spencer,
Your offer couldn’t have come at a better time as I was recently fired from my last job for embezzling company funds. Coincidentally, my former employer also specialized in cotton and textile trading. Thus, rest assured I can provide you with the confidence that comes from hiring someone with experience in the field, in addition to a bookkeeping background and an unwavering entrepreneurial spirit.
I would like to get started as quickly as possible as my trial is due to commence in the coming weeks and I may need cash to bribe the jurors.
Norman Shuttlecock Jr.”
